How Leo Szilárd got me in trouble but it drove me to probably save the world

Maybe because I was noticing that people I knew have achieved something important — some of them — while others reach the end of their alive-time without… 

Or at least without my knowing of such accomplishments…

Maybe because of this I was searching for something important I might have done. 

Could be, say, it was invading the offices of the most popular TV station in Baltimore, and getting them to send a crew to film the twelve antiwar students who, one-by-one, denounced President Nixon’s Christmas bombing of Hanoi and Haiphong.  Or it could be something dramatic on the community level: organizing what proved to be an interracial sit-in of 65 individuals that carried on till 3 a.m. — rain notwithstanding; resulting in my firing being reversed and my evil boss being himself fired.

Okay, so, actions that I’m proud of, but do they qualify?  Are they truly important in the Grand Scheme?

Well, I remembered I once had a 5-page résumé so I must have done something world-changing — even if I don’t remember with any precision what that thing I’d done might have been…

But it turns out, oddly enough, that I might have in fact saved the world.

The recently unearthed photo shown above triggered this realization.

I was a freshman in college.  The Bay of Pigs (“Playa Girón”) was already history, the Cuban missile crisis a year in the offing.  I’d been assigned by the Public Affairs director at the college radio station to interview the renowned physicist Leo Szilárd, who was passing through the Boston area.  She intimated that Szilárd might use the interview to launch an anti-nuclear or anti-testing movement.

Now as it happens there was only a week left in the Fall Competition that would determine which of the students were considered worthy to become part of WHRB — and which could be let go.  This interview, it occurred to me, could provide the scoop that would burnish my credentials! 

The first few moments of the Szilárd meeting went well:  At the Harvard Square subway exit, at noon, I managed to get close enough to him to introduce myself and shake his hand.  I thought he nodded to me when I held up the little tape recorder.  But as we walked along Massachusetts Avenue I saw that the 8 or 9 people moving with him and fussing over him never seemed to go away or give me easy access to the man…

In 1933 Szilárd, a brilliant Hungarian Jewish physicist, had developed — just as he prepared to escape Germany — the idea of a nuclear chain reaction.  And in 1934 he went on to patent, with Enrico Fermi, the idea of a nuclear reactor.  And once he finally settled in the safety of the United States, Szilárd initiated a number of other projects, like the cyclotron and the electron microscope, that he handed off to collaborators who ultimately received Nobel Prizes themselves.

But most crucially he grasped that German physicists were burning the midnight oil to develop some version of an atom bomb — whereas there was no such research going on in the U.S.  In the end Szilárd managed to get Albert Einstein to sign a letter that he, Szilárd, had written to President Franklin D. Roosevelt — which in the upshot led to the establishment of the Manhattan Project and the atomic bomb.

This might be the appropriate moment to note that, under Trump rules and procedures, Szilárd’s admission to the U.S. would have been iffy at best.  Thus, in the 1930s, while we kept almost all Jews and foreigners out of our country, Hitler would have been free to develop a nuclear weapon years ahead of a bewildered America.  Vast numbers of Americans — however “protected” from the imaginary “crimes” that Trump likes to claim additional immigrants would carry out — might well have been incinerated in a nuclear holocaust.  Or if the U.S. had surrendered in time, we would have lived for decades under the most onerous Nazi constraints and controls.  Blacks, Jews, Muslims and Asians other than Japanese would have been sent to extermination camps.

 And it wouldn’t be long before Japan — useful ally of Germany — wasn’t needed any more, and long-term Japanese-Americans would have been found ripe for the old “relocation” camps, now turned to gas-ovens.  That action would have been to insure that the German “Aryan” race-type had no competition.

As it happened, Szilárd experienced persecution analogous to what Trump may have in mind for immigrants and/or enemies — and may hope to carry out in his next phase.  But Szilárd’s persecution happened in Hungary, where nationalist anti-Semitic students, like Trump’s Charlottesville white nationalists, physically prevented Szilárd’s attempt to continue his engineering studies. 

However, Szilárd was as determined as he was brilliant. He pulled up stakes and moved to Berlin.  And later, bored with engineering, he went elsewhere for physics — and managed to be able to work under inspiring lecturers that included Einstein and Max Planck.  And finally, when the Nazis took power in 1933, Szilárd understood it was no longer safe for him.  Fortunately — for him and us! — he succeeded in taking advantage of a crack in the U.S. wall designed to keep out the many who hoped to immigrate.

Perhaps we need to give an under-the-table thanks to the racists, Nazis and similar fascists who drove those brilliant minds out of Europe and to our shores, enabling us to prevent Hitler from acquiring this doomsday weapon with the power to dictate surrender terms — perhaps after the incineration of a couple of cities like New York and Washington…

All Szilárd’s breakthroughs he’d achieved in the 1930s and 1940s.  Now, for our November 1961 lunchtime meeting here in Boston, he was about something equally extraordinary but at the same time altogether different: establishing a mass peace and anti-nuclear movement!

All right, so how did I save the world already?  Well, we have to expand our canvas to see what was going on in other venues and in the brains and hearts of other people around the earth…. For isn’t it true that we live amidst the swirl of mutually interacting reciprocal relationships? 

In Washington President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was secretly working on his own peace plan — a nuclear test ban treaty that would be ratified in two years, months after Szilárd and only months before Kennedy himself left the stage.

And on the other side of the world Party Secretary Nikita Khrushchev was apparently concerned about the risk of accidental nuclear war and about the Soviet Union being so far behind in technology and nuclear throw weight.  The hardliners were repeatedly undermining and trying to outmaneuver and overthrow him but he had nearly 3 years before they would succeed.  In the meantime he labored among the factions to create a test ban treaty that would avoid major inspections, save face and forestall his detractors.

Well, it’s most of a century later and we have some perspective.  My best theory — why not? — was that Szilárd and JFK had already spoken, and Kennedy was indeed listening for and deeply interested in — and perhaps dreading — the expected lunchtime radio interview… that never came!

Why no interview?  What happened at our lunch?  Well, Szilárd figured he needed to eat before he talked.  Who could argue with that?  But who was this kid fresh off the streets of Queens — a walking demonstration of how unimportant WHRB considered so important a person as himself and his fledgling anti-nuclear peace movement.  Worst of all Szilárd knew he had only a year, maybe two, to accomplish this second mission, before the cancer removed him from the playing field of this particular universe.

Valiantly I tried to talk with Szilárd during lunch, with the crush of others all around him, but he wouldn’t let me turn on the recorder.

As he slowly chewed his corned beef sandwich, he quickly began to grasp that his prospective interviewer knew nothing about him or his underlying motivation, had read none of his books or articles and had not the slightest idea of what he’d been through, first in Hungary, then in Germany and elsewhere. 

I made a last attempt to turn on the recorder — but Szilárd himself covered the switch with his hand.

­­That afternoon when I got back to WHRB — without the tape I was assigned to get — in my frustration I wrote angry words in the station Comment Book — something that was Not Done!  (And even if it Was done, it wouldn’t Be done by a College freshman candidate.  So was I soon told — many times — both in writing and in face-to-face dressing-downs.)  This action insured that, when the WHRB Fall Competition ended, I would have no future in that organization.¹  (But I soon found what I considered better things to do, though I don’t remember what they were….)

John Kennedy was kind of an erudite guy, I figure.  What did he make of his college radio station airing no interview with this Szilárd who’d made it possible to get the A-bomb ahead of Hitler and win the war?

Let’s figure that, according to my theory, Kennedy had pressured Szilárd to skip the interview and postpone the actual launching of his movement.  Whereas if Szilárd plowed ahead, Kennedy would be under pressure before he himself had his ducks lined up to support and sign the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, his signature presidential accomplishment.  Even an impeachment can be derailed by moving too swiftly; one needs to take the trouble to actually buckle down to the hard work of building an adequate foundation…

But Szilárd had not agreed to a postponement and with Szilárd’s push for a test ban agreement now, Kennedy knew the agreement he himself was planning would fail to get the needed support.²  And if he spent his political capital too soon, with the Cuban missile crisis looming ten months down the calendar, he might feel constrained to respond more aggressively — and dangerously!

But my failure, unexpectedly and unknowingly, kept the president’s powder dry, saved him from having to go in whole hog too early — and essentially gave JFK a free hand.  With the extra time he got all the deals he needed made on his own schedule before his own time too ran out.

Now, on the one hand — speaking just for my own self — how self-serving a history can one imagine?

But on the other hand, a person might wonder nowadays, did I, Jerry, ever receive recognition for this all-important achievement, at least akin to my success (also unrecognized) in promoting Pinot Noir throughout the country in the Eighties?

I understand that there were discussions in the corridors of power about some kind of medal, perhaps the Unheralded Hero of the Nation plaque and trophy set, but in the end it was thought smarter, and safer, to classify the information for 75 years.

I’m not bothered; saving the world, as I sit in my twi-lit dining room, is, more than most tasks, its own reward.

© Jerry Kurtz 2019

Notes.

¹ All this took place in Fall 1961 when Indochina was only simmering.  Eight years later, during some of the worst of the Vietnam War, WHRB acquitted themselves better in the SDS-led University Hall occupation.  Chris Wallace and other station heavies stayed all night and were clubbed along with the ordinary students when police broke down the doors at dawn.

² Some have compared the danger of a too hasty attempt to win on a highly polarized issue — like, in Kennedy’s case, getting a nuclear test ban treaty through the Senate — to, in our case, impeaching and convicting a president.

In either case there was a need to slow the speed of a movement in order to make it possible to gain the additional needed support, and in particular to avoid alienating lawmakers who might ultimately join that movement.

Tirade Against: Wrong Amount of Globalization

What would Italian food be without the possibility of a tomato?

A question not to be asked.

Or what about a steak — for those of you still eating them, or half-converted to Paleo — without a mashed potato?  Or Chilli Crab without the chili pepper?

Or, say, your morning without its cup of French Roast coffee?

Well, if you lived in Europe before around 1500, these items were unknown, or maybe found only in mysterious rumors.

To begin to make them known and ultimately available to a significant fraction of the European public required voyages of exploration, especially to the New World.  Or, for the Ottoman Turks, to Yemen for coffee beans.  And for the people in China unconsciously waiting to get their knives on the hot peppers that originated in Mexico, and to learn to cook with them, they had to wait for Portuguese and Arab traders.

And much more recently – over, say, the past 15-20 years — what about the sudden improvement in British and Swiss cuisine?  Likely this is a result of diversity and rising sophistication and worldwide standards of taste. 

So wouldn’t these appear to be benefits of globalization?

Ah, but not so fast!

Part 1.

Weren’t whole peoples wiped out by the diseases that these Europeans brought along?  And weren’t many or most of the others enslaved, famously in cane cutting and sugar processing and mining?  And weren’t the rest exploited, many of their descendants down to this very day, half a millennium later?  Conquistadors and other globalizers had heard of the idea of mercy, after all a central principle of the Catholic Church, and might — in theory — have been generous and gentle and truly helpful to these they defeated.  But in practice, when it came to those human beings, mercy and fellow-love proved to be in shockingly short supply…

In North America the aboriginal peoples experienced the human cost of the resettling and “development” — or from their point of view, rape and pillaging — of a continent.  They lost much of a beautiful and practical relationship with nature and, more often than not, their language and culture, their sense of safety, the lives of their loved ones and all too often their own.

But the explorers and settlers who followed and displaced the natives did not benefit the tribes who managed to survive them.  This piece of history does not immediately reassure us that globalization is moving us toward world peace…

According to one cohort of television and movie Westerns that many of us grew up watching, the Europeans not only brought rifles never seen in the Americas – like now, supposedly a force for Good — they also sold them to the Indians. 

This stage of establishing a global economic system – that made its mechanisms all but impossible to restrain – made not only grains and rifles but also human labor-power into commodities, their prices set just like pork bellies by supply and demand.  Neither the smartest nor the most immovable among the Europeans could stand up to the irresistible force of this early globalization in which guns and all other commodities demanded larger and larger markets.

But back on the positive side of globalization…  Haven’t there been millions of hardworking immigrants, people who weren’t colonialists, refugees fleeing oppression themselves, who like my grandmother believed the stories of gold in the streets and suchlike?  These were human beings who brought their food preferences and recipes to North America, while supplying the muscle to build the cross-country railroads, the towns and cities, the steel mills, the wineries.  And more recently, others from far-flung parts came who provided insight and brain-power to further develop the technologies that would continue to transform daily life throughout much of the world.

Nor would I ever have laid eyes on my late wife unless the airplane had been invented.  And then only if a globalizing U.S. biotech company opened a branch in Singapore to sell their instruments and supplies in East and South Asia.  On a personal level this was an extraordinary benefit for me.

 But what is the real connection between globalization and immigration?

There is a kind of immigration in which individuals and groups are fleeing oppression, sometimes in fear for their lives, seeking a safe haven.

But the larger movement is driven by the globalization economy in which the labor-power of human beings is treated as a commodity almost indistinguishably from the treatment of pork bellies.

For example, in California the economy demands cheap Mexican labor-power to get the berries picked.  

Growers pay for this labor-power according to the quantity of available humans to supply it and the competition among growers seeking to buy it.  Similarly, in Singapore “Guest Workers” from Bangladesh are brought in to provide the bulk of the labor-power to run the oil refineries.  It should be noted that in this way the workers do not become full-fledged immigrants or citizens.

In an earlier approach, when the British controlled what was then called Malaya, they first invited Cantonese to come and exploit the land and run the industries.  When members of this group threatened to organize, risking the continuance of low costs and foreign control, the British responded by importing Indians – people from an altogether different language group — to impede communication and erode trust with the Cantonese-speakers.

My wife, a Hokkien Chinese Singaporean, was an immigrant naturalized in 1975. I became attuned to the level of racism and prejudice that undermined the lives of immigrants arriving in the U.S. — not to mention the rapacious business practices they were ill-equipped to fight, and finally physical danger and a prevalence of gun culture. 

But perhaps, to be entirely fair, we can recognize that the dominant culture within the U.S., limiting and homogenizing as it typically is, closed and oppressive as it may be in many circumstances, provides at least a partial check on some absolutely unacceptable rituals – like honor killing, female genital mutilation, human sacrifice and so forth — that may be condoned by various cultures of origin. 

In what might prove to be another healthful development, I read the other day that in the U.S., perhaps in part a result of significant immigration, one in six marriages – like mine to my late wife — is now interracial.  If true, this could be construed as the species’ unconscious attack on inbreeding. 

But in terms of the globalization I’m tracking, we can recognize that races and ethnicities have long been separated from their traditional regions of origin.  And even when these individuals, couples and groups settle to create and raise the next generation, they are in a foreign and unexpected location, a place that their history provides no guide to. 

Nevertheless, whatever the benefits for society and for a comparatively small number of individuals in these globalizing movements of goods and services and people, they must be weighed against the dislocation and heartbreak of lost jobs, shuttered factories, drug addiction, violence, and all the other downstream effects that flow from the resulting destruction and decimation.

These effects are exacerbated and the uprooted people further undermined by the loss of signposts in the old cultures – holidays, rituals, traditions, stories, even whole languages — that prevented those now living far from their place of origin from being unmoored and at a loss to grasp where in this universe they stood…

What about (1) religion, (2) trade?  Aren’t there good things that develop in these categories?

Religion has been trucked around the world just as soon as neighboring cultures bumped into each other, just as Islam pushed into Indonesia in the 16^th Century a step ahead of Christian Dutch colonizers.  Nowadays we have Catholics proselytizing in Africa while Pentecostals steamroll into Latin America.  Whether such developments are a happy or unhappy outcome is up to the point of view of the reader…

And famously, technologies made it possible to establish long-distance trade.  As a blueberry fanatic, I’ve been thrilled to be able to get baskets and baskets of them at reasonable prices in winter – arrived from Chile, Argentina, sometimes Perú, and Mexico.  This goes too for raspberries, strawberries and blackberries.  What a change from my youth, where you could get these items only “in season.”  And that is still the case for most — less globalized — locations in the world. 

We are likely to be familiar with the clothing, shoes and other gear made cheaply in developing-world sweatshops, by recent arrivals from the countryside who work 12-hour days, six and seven days a week, often carrying out their repetitious tasks in semi-darkness. 

Less visible on the surface, machinery began to be shipped around the world, and then that machinery could be made around the world.

The largely poor people driven from the rural precincts — increasingly to bi- and multi-cultural trading ports that feed a global economy — achieved a certain freedom from the oppressiveness they had lived with in the countryside — but then found themselves thrown, as for example in China, into the cauldron of a wild and heartless, insensible capitalism.

That system, now in its ascendancy, is driven by the voracious needs of faraway markets and those who can profit from them, most of them happily unaware of and uninterested in the damage done to the humans ground up in the production process.

And as we are all aware by now, recent and potential immigrants to the West have been singled out for not merely unwelcoming but downright hostile and unjust treatment.  Trump’s anti-immigrant schemes, for example, are a bad thing for everybody. 

But selected effects of the current globalization give him a chance to arouse elements of a threatened populace with fear of lost jobs, shuttered factories, lost security, lost (false) memories of a golden age, and a frightening and unprovided old age.  For Trump and his ilk, evaporating livelihoods, fleeing businesses, desolate and impoverished towns provide an ideal backdrop for his destructive schemes.

Part 2.

When I was back in Switzerland last summer — my 5^th or maybe 6^th trip there but the first in 13 years — I was startled to find that the kinds of people I saw seemed considerably changed:  Whereas 13 years ago the people on the streets were overwhelmingly white Europeans and North Americans, now there were, besides the Japanese tourists, and the mass Chinese tours, many Asian residents.  And too there were Arabs from the Middle East, largely looking wealthy, as well as Indians and Pakistanis, both those who had found work in Switzerland, and moneyed tourists.  And in somewhat smaller numbers, black Africans from Nigeria and Kenya.

This recent, somewhat sudden diversity is in no small measure driven by globalization.

To be sure, these were subjective impressions.  But to me it was remarkable to find this diversity in a country not historically welcoming or altogether sympathetic to refugees or poor or oppressed people of any kind or stripe.  In spite of Switzerland’s preferred reputation — for originating the Red Cross and for their historical humanitarian gestures¹ —Switzerland refused entry to many thousands of Jews fleeing Hitler who were later, consequently, murdered. 

On the other hand, to be fair, largely cowed by and partly sympathetic with the Nazis as they were, they did, in that period, take in some batches of Jews and perhaps other endangered refugees.² 

I supposed, without, to be sure, any avalanche of evidence, that this fresh diversity had much to do with the improvement in quality and variety of cuisine in Switzerland.  And I felt this diversity was a good thing in important ways, dispelling some prejudice, increasing tolerance, and generally, vaguely, possibly moving this region of the planet – hesitatingly — toward world peace.  But on the other hand, there have been many — in Hungary, Poland, in Germany and Italy — who have felt threatened, who in diversity find not a hope for peace but a call to war; many who have joined with unapologetic racists and are swept up in the tide of right-wing nationalism; many who resist even the remotest hint that we might be inching toward a more diverse society.

And even here in Switzerland, something felt wrong. 

Most strikingly to me, I saw no effort to welcome the Chinese tourists.  They were left to themselves and their tour leader.  No doubt the Europeans had already learned that communicating with these typically lower middleclass visitors was difficult or impossible since they — unlike the typically upper middleclass Japanese tourists — were not English speakers. 

To be sure, each culture, from the point of view of a foreign culture, has its seemingly “uncivilized” practices.  In Switzerland, the dominance of the Western ear can spell — at worst — contempt for a non-Western minority’s behavior, like the perception that their voices are loud or harsh.

But as a courtesy to the East Asians, there was sometimes a menu in Japanese and/or Chinese.  Then again, more often there was not, instead relying on an English menu for those among them who could read and understand that language. 

Partly as a result of that phenomenon — a fringe benefit for us, of course! — there was now almost always a menu written in English, the most widespread of the various languages of the foreign tourists.  For the same reason English — driven especially by the tourism industry but also by the technology industry — was also far more widely spoken than it had been 13 years before.  I remember a two-hour conversation by the banks of the Reuss in 1989 with two young men, one of whose wallet I’d found — in German.  In the current millennium, in 2018, their English would have been far better than my German.  Would this new version of Switzerland, or at least the German-speaking regions, with better English skills, foster world peace better?

Or should we rather ask:  Is “Globalization” really only a euphemism for domination by English-speakers — a fig leaf for North American control?

Okay, so where else does this diversity occur?  While the 20 most ethnically diverse countries in the world are all in Africa, it is also true that many European cities have become impressively, and for some, uncomfortably diverse.  In North America this could also be said of cities like New York, Toronto, Oakland, San Francisco, San Jose and Los Angeles.

Part 3.

Does this mean that globalization moves, on the whole, toward equality and/or all “civilizing” potentials?  Absolutely not true.  Rather it’s an overwhelming, unstoppable tide that sweeps all before it, whether good or bad, whether anybody wishes it or not.

So on trade, for example, there’s no easy fix…

Does the good stuff get included by a kind of “natural selection” process – pizza, bagels, tacos?  But then the elegance of many foods can get watered down to suit the tastes of the masses of Newly-Exposed Consumers (“NEC”)

Does this “watering-down” move more and more toward homogenization, risking the loss not only of foods but of non-umbrella languages — of languages downgraded to mere “dialects” because they lack the protection of an army — with an accompanying loss of literatures, written in languages now certified as dead?

Igor, an anti-government tour guide I’d hired in late Soviet times, loved only the few surviving Renaissance buildings in L’viv – from a culture and style now extinct — and complained that the high-rise apartments there and around the world were “everywhere the same.”

So:  Finally:  What is to be done?

First: recognize what’s happening.  And where, precisely, it is inexorable, like a tsunami.  To suss this out is already difficult and perhaps impossible to know for sure.  But to skip this step can mean we’ve lost before we’ve even begun.

Get clear on the benefits and consequences, immediate and long-term, affecting not only our own lives but the lives of our children and grandchildren, the workers ensnared in globalized production and shipping, other humans and, probably, other residents of our planet’s biosphere.

Then develop strategies – hard-nosed as needed³ — to welcome the plusses and forestall the losses.

Then comes the question of understanding and compassion Remember how the Chinese tourists in Luzern were treated?  How can they be helped to feel included, listened to?  A question to be asked, here and in many stages and formats of globalization.  Customs, whole cultures and religions that had been isolated from each other by geography now come face-to-face — for better or worse, whether anybody had wished for it or not — on account of new technology and the forces it has set loose.  Perhaps we’re at an early stage of this coming-together — or should we say “confrontation”?  Unknown.

What about that world peace?

And that “bias of nature”⁴?  Will the bad guys triumph and the world go down the toilet to enrich them and enhance their luxuries?  Or will the good people of this earth come from behind to save us and free us all from the stake to which we are currently tied?

The ball is still in the air. 

Notes

1. In 1871 the Swiss rescued the starving Bourbaki soldiers, as dramatized in the multimedia diorama in Lucerne, above.

2. More recently the country has seemed divided, polarized, in their attitude to these wartime failures, resulting in a halting and hesitant attitude to returning the wealth that the Nazis had looted from the murdered Jews, assets they had laundered in Swiss banks.

3. For example, we want to stop the extinction of Monarch butterflies, threatened by Mexican avocado growers who’ve rooted out the milkweed that the Monarchs must feed on. The farmers seek to take advantage of the skyrocketing popularity of avocados and profitable market in the U.S.  To turn the situation around we can compensate the farmers and require them to replant the milkweed over 2/3 of the acreage.

4. A Shakespearean term from King Lear: Which way does the universe tilt?  Can the universe correct worldwide catastrophes and run down holocaust-level errors to a stop?  Can a few hanging chads plunge us into a world war starting in the Middle East from which our good judgment and all our resources will never be able to extricate us?  Can poor judgment or blindness on the part of a fraction of us — and the larger fraction’s doing too little to expose them — undo all the civilizing movement of a century and risk the planet’s life with nuclear devastation?

© Jerry Kurtz 2018

My Glacier Holidays

It was 1957 when I first laid feet on the Athabasca Glacier in the Columbia Icefields near Jasper, Alberta.

I was with my parents and my grandmother, 70 years old.

We and twenty others went out on what was called a “snowmobile”: It had skis on the front so it could slide on the surface of the ice, and on the snow that had accumulated on top.  It was July — summer, as my 13-year-old brain insisted.  That was an eye-opener for me, and an experience that burst past the gates of memory with the brilliance of fireworks.

Forty-nine summers later no grandmother, mother or father was still drawing breath.

My father— highly amused — prepares a snowball in front of two 1957-era snowmobiles.

But my wife was alive, and we were making a trip across Canada. We’d got off the train at Jasper, rented a car, and spent a couple of expensive nights based at Lake Louise, about the most beautiful place I’d ever seen.

Then we drove north, returning to the train.  En route we found where the glacier lived — but it was unrecognizable. 

Less than a human lifetime had passed, but our glacier had aged along with us.  Our poor glacier began a mile farther away…  

Did that mean that 434,000 tons of ice had melted?  I think Yes!

Since that teenage visit the snowmobile, a device created by us endlessly inventive humans, had been revolutionized four times, as we learned in the outdoor museum and photo exhibit.  The current model, the fifth, looked like an enormous insect with jumbo rubber tires — something like the transport that had taken us out on the beach to where the Skagerrak strait connects the North Sea and the Baltic, a few weeks earlier in northern Denmark. 

Grace and 2006-model snowmobiles.

With the new vehicle we managed to reach what remained of the glacier with no difficulty.  But this time, unlike the home movies, there were no laughing faces or snowballs thrown.  My late wife and I looked at each other as people do when they feel something that they’d counted on to be solid and strong was sliding through their fingers like so much dry sand. 

For us individual humans, the clock hands had spun around many, almost countless times.  Sunrises and sunsets for my grandmother, father and mother — who’d accompanied me on the glacier surface so much earlier in our lives — had decades before run out; for my wife there were still 5 years left.  But weren’t glaciers supposed to endure, to grow and shrink in their own time-frame, of thousands or tens of thousands of years? – beyond, certainly, any ordinary sequence of individual human deaths and births.  Instead here was a massive shrinking within a single lightning flash in the earth’s history.

Wasn’t this awfully quick, to see so vast a shrinking in less than one’s own threescore and ten?  And apart from the loss of beauty, apart from the loss of an effortless apprehension of wonder — apart from the indication that the earth was somehow running down — what would be the consequences of this disappearance?

Four years previous, when we’d based ourselves in Lucerne, we drove to the canton of Grisons, and along the Em River, where I thought it would be easy to get Emmenthaler Swiss cheese.  And in Pontresina we found a modern hotel with a good one, plus good red wine and a friendly fire. 

Next day we went to explore the glacier which had once begun several kilometers closer to the hotel.  We passed signs with dates from the last 40 years marking where the glacier had then extended to.  And of what remained, much of it looked to be full of holes — unsafe to traverse.  A modern hotel, good cheese, yes — but beauty and wonder were fading at head-spinning speed; speed that was, for our part of the solar system, difficult or impossible to grasp.

2004. Since Switzerland the earth’s made just a circuit and a half around our sun, so it’s January — but somehow it’s summer again. Well, that’s how it works when you’re in the Southern Hemisphere — in New Zealand, not far from Aoraki: Mt. Cook.

We’re taking a boat ride on the lake where the glacier — who felt like an old, old friend — like a doddering old man — was breaking down, “calving,” its ice-cliffs collapsing and tumbling as though in slow-motion into the lake, in some grandeur.

As we approached, we were surrounded by milky-gray glacier water.  

And this meltwater, having been locked in thick-ribbed ice¹ for eons, looked different from normal, ice-cube meltwater from your refrigerator’s freezer.  Indeed we were told that the water being released from the glacier was thousands of years old.  Was this in some way like being released from prison?

As we hiked back from the drop-off point and went in and out of views of beautiful snow-capped peaks, I brooded.  And when we crossed a long skinny, shaky rope bridge — I have a fear of heights — I could, finally, seem to see where we — all of us — were. 

It once seemed to be but “early” in human history.  We know now we have the means to make it very late… And here, late in 2017, an enormous chunk of Antarctica has broken loose and drifted off in the ocean, a chunk so big that cartographers have complained they need to revise their maps.

What about the north end of the planet? In fourth grade they kept telling us there was a search for the fabled Northwest Passage to the East Indies that supposedly inspired Columbus’s voyages.  The Hudson Bay Company and the Dutch East India Company and their European explorers of yesteryear who pursued this mercantile holy grail can at last claim a success as the polar icecap rapidly melts down to nothing.  In addition many newer corporations are thrilled to have only a familiar liquid for their smiling cargo-laden ships to plow through.  And the mighty Titanic, a mere hundred years later, could have lived up to its abortive boast of being tougher than Nature’s quaint defenses and could merrily steam on to a career of wondrous exploits to compete with Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show.

The most calamitous effects we face are not centuries away but only years.  We may be watching not the beginning of our short history but what could be the beginning of the end…

It’s now eleven years since my second trip to Athabasca Glacier.  What revolution in snow vehicles will have taken place — perhaps they’ve reached the 7^th generation?  And for me what unknown number of winters and summers remain, to keep recording developments that are worrying?  In fact so worrying that I find them impossible to truly believe — because they involve actual annihilation.

Astronomically the earth will be here for billions of years more, no matter how we wound it and mess it up — even as a burned-out rock; it will survive no matter how quickly and how thoroughly we may destroy ourselves and most of the life-forms we count on.  But the brave new world my wife and I had been viewing in 2006 wasn’t exactly the eternal and magnificent one we hoped to leave for future generations.  As a thirteen-year-old in 1957, I imagined all this would be forever.  How terribly sad…  Sad, to finally recognize that our planet, in the age of humans, can no longer take care of itself — and frustrating, that humankind has made it that way — humankind — us — this resourceful but careless species who have been here for not even a ten-thousandth of the earth’s existence — sad, that we are failing in our stewardship — failing catastrophically — and that at best we have to work with all our strength and all our resources to keep the worst from happening.

© Jerry Kurtz 2018

 Notes

1.  Interested parties should see Claudio’s speech in Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure, Act 3, scene 1:

Ay, but to die, and go we know not where; 
To lie in cold obstruction and to rot;
This sensible warm motion to become  
A kneaded clod; and the delighted spirit  
To bathe in fiery floods, or to reside  
In thrilling region of thick-ribbed ice;  
To be imprison’d in the viewless winds,  
And blown with restless violence round about  
The pendent world; or to be worse than worst  
Of those that lawless and incertain thought  
Imagine howling: ’tis too horrible!  
The weariest and most loathed worldly life  
That age, ache, penury and imprisonment  
Can lay on nature is a paradise    
To what we fear of death.  

Victory Day–Against Passports & so-called Secret Police

Somehow we’d lost our passports the afternoon before. Frantically we’d searched for the embroidered little Chinese purse that held them — I’d given it to Hannah just ahead of the trip — which had suddenly gone missing from her wrist. We’d combed every section of pavement and scraggly patch of grass — everywhere that we’d walked, sat or talked over the previous hours. But we might have done better if we’d been less panicky and stood stock still…

We had as yet no idea, much less a clear one, what we’d need to do to continue our trip, or even to get home from there; this was 1985, a Cold War year, and we were located deep within the Other. We had hopes, which some encouraged, that a good citizen might find our passports and pass them along to the police to return to us. Others, more cynical, imagined the passports were worth real money and would be used to move another person across a frontier like in the movies, or maybe transport valuable contraband. You know, “smuggling.”

But meanwhile, the next day was May 9^th, Victory Day throughout the USSR. And it was the fortieth anniversary of that historic event. Considering that almost every current resident of Kiev had lost at least one family member in the Great Patriotic War, it was a staggeringly more powerful and more personal holiday for many locals than July 4^th is for most Americans. I hope it won’t disappoint you if we lay aside the sad recounting of individual suffering and private losses of the war years in Kiev, and the woeful tale of struggles with the opportunists and collaborators, which I am ill-equipped to write. Instead I’ll stick to our more modest ambition and dive at once into the 1985 Victory Day story. 

The authorities, in recognition of so momentous a holiday, had renamed various days of the week — e.g., Thursday, the next day, became “Saturday” — with the result that they had created a super, four-day holiday. Our friends had planned a picnic for us on a grassy island in a lake we could walk to, with a few of their Kiev friends and, passports or no, we were determined to celebrate. 

We’d already learned the protocol. Friends of exotic foreigners like Americans were kept in separate cells, so to speak; considering no one knew which individuals were working for the authorities, the separation protected these friends. And since anyone willing to talk with Americans could fall under suspicion, these people were taking a risk.

Everyone spoke more quietly than Americans, partly out of general courtesy but also out of fear of being overheard. To be sure, American tourists have long been known for speaking decibels beyond any local norm; but in Ukraine in 1985 there were those extra risks…

Our Baltimore friend Stan who’d been living in Kiev eight months cautioned us about saying anything revealing in our hotel. Indeed, my expectation was that the KGB or police listened to every conversation emanating from the various bugged hotel rooms, and other private and public rooms. But another friend said there was so much bugging and it had been done over and over so many times that no one could be sure any more, not even the police, which hotel rooms were bugged and which weren’t.

That was our first surprise and it struck me as a little funny, and hinted at some distant limit to evil. But we were cautioned constantly that it was unsafe to speak freely and the police were anything but bumbling; they were effective and dangerous.

Trams/Street.

None of that was about to stop us from enjoying our holiday, exploring the city, and trying to experience something of the habits and customs of the locals. That being said, the faces in the tram and on the street seemed somber compared to those on an average American busload — dour. Oddly — to us — they made no effort to appear as though they were enjoying themselves, delighted with their jobs, thrilled with their partners and their lives. They weren’t smiling. But a friend from Missouri claimed that, paradoxically, the Kievans were less unhappy than Americans! — that Americans felt pressure to pretend joy and to push aside worries that were in fact real; while the Kievans, who’d experienced — certainly in recent generations — more severe suffering on several levels, were content to accept their joys and fears of all kinds.  I told Missouri I didn’t see much in the way of “joys”…

Be all that as it may, on May 9^th, Victory Day, we set out for the picnic by tram.  It was a beautiful spring morning, the chestnut flowers that were the symbol of Kiev and that had appeared that week were now in full bloom. We met with Yevgeny, Pyotr and Bela the Hungarian but not Nikolai — he was in a different ‘cell.’ 

We arrived on the island and selected a spot for our blanket and began to set our things and ourselves down. The remaining clouds slid away and the sun beamed; we were in a different world — all spring and laughter and greenness, all freedom and countryside. We passed around the vodka till everyone had loaded their glass. No more reason to speak carefully now… We carried out the Ukrainian toast: “Boot moh hey, Boot moh hey, Boot moh hey hey hey!” As soon as each individual had downed the contents of the glass — all at once — they bit into a pickle or a piece of sausage or salami or, if nothing else was available, grabbed a companion around the forehead and inhaled the smell of their hair to the bottom of the lungs.

End of Part One

Part Two. Later the same day…

What did we talk about there? Cultural differences between the U.S. and Ukraine, Russia, Hungary? Personal history, stories. How the office workers here spent workday afternoons at the movies… Much much later, the last bottle providing only drops, the picnic was over and we started back. 

The locals gradually peeled themselves off and Stan’s wife Edna went back to take care of an errand. She was to meet us in an hour, at a shuttered bakery on the edge of Red Oktober Square, during the Victory Day celebration.  At the picnic Edvard had told us that the fireworks were a big draw, but also that this was typically the “most spontaneous” rally of the year. Not saying much: Any action that smacked of what we would consider real spontaneity was at once suppressed. 

By the time we left the island and headed back into town, it was altogether dark. Beautiful lights made streets and alleyways glow in the soft spring and illuminated the ubiquitous chestnut blossoms.  When we reached the square, already lively with holiday and vodka and excitement at being together, there was an underground street-crossing, a perezhod in Russian, and the three of us started to descend the steps, as per local custom, to avoid the busy traffic on the surface. That was the beginning of our troubles.

Halfway down there was a great view, toward one stairway in the foreground and another in the distance. Without hesitation I snapped a photo.

Instantly two men came up to me and demanded the film. From their air of high-handed authority, there was no confusion about who they were. Less than two months had passed since the Soviet leader Konstantin Ustinovich Chernenko had died and a man from the provinces named Gorbachev had been named the new leader. But it would be many months before his inclinations and intentions would begin to show. Meanwhile the KGB would do what it had habitually done.

Impressed, I suppose, by my own courage, cleverness and presence of mind, I played dumb tourist, pretending not to understand what the man wanted. Stan didn’t share this view of my smart tactic and translated — or ordered, rather — “Give him the film.”

I complied and the man’s fist closed over it.

Then he wanted us to go back up the stairs. On the street he ordered some local police who were loafing in their patrol car to get out and made it clear to us that we should get in. It was a small car, and with the three of us — plus our KGB guy at the wheel and his sidekick in the front — this was a tight fit. We set off.

We didn’t know how far we were going. The car stopped along the street apparently for our captors to notify another operative what was happening.  We could hear the detonations and in the sky we could see jaw-dropping fireworks over Red Oktober Square — from which, in the movies, ordinary people would still be able to come to our rescue and free us from indefinite detention. But without Tom Cruise or a mass of drunken revelers in sight, we alighted and were marched upstairs. This seemed to be a police station; not secret police, just a non-secret police station.

They sat Hannah and me on a bench and invited Stan into an office and closed the door.

Unexpectedly they kept him a good 45 minutes. Meanwhile we were afraid of compromising the Kiev friends — they had more to lose than we, who would likely suffer no more serious fate than expulsion from the USSR. Of course these police, if they were interested enough, determined enough, could develop the film, with photos of Stan and Edna’s local friends, though I preferred to believe they’d just expose it.

Assuming we would be interrogated soon, and individually, as per U.S. television, we needed a story that was agreed on — among Hannah and me and Stan. But we didn’t know what he’d say — and Hannah and I couldn’t (assuming the room was bugged) risk talking to each other.  And if we wrote notes, they could be confiscated and read. I decided that, this being 1985, they wouldn’t have video, so we could use our fingers to draw letters in the air, or on Hannah’s leg.

Hannah feared that we might be put in separate jails: I for men and she for women. And with the 4-day holiday we likely wouldn’t be able to get hold of anyone at the American Consulate to help us get out…

End of Part Two

Part Three.

Eventually we were called into the Room. There were four officers, all in street clothes, but no one interrogated us. There was after all no need to get our story straight, or even to have a story. We were somehow in a second, unrecognizable phase, a world that didn’t fit the movies, and it was a relief. Evidently they didn’t care. These police weren’t determined at all. One man explained, using Stan as his translator, that we’d broken the law by taking a photo of a military target or sensitive installation. We learned much later, at the U.S. Embassy back in Moscow, that this was in fact true — there was such a law, and it was taken seriously. 

But here, the officers seemed eager to get this rigmarole over with and begin the four-day holiday. Soon we were dismissed and headed home to Stan and Edna’s apartment, again being reminded as we passed some open windows not to talk so loud. 

But once we were free enough to speak with each other, we learned from Stan that the police were not as relaxed and lackadaisical as it had appeared. In fact, while we were working to “get our story straight,” they were exhausting themselves on Stan: Under the direction of an officer wearing a shoulder-holstered pistol, a confession for all of us to sign had been typed up, with impressive slowness, on a manual typewriter. Then they had pulled two holiday-clad citizens off the street to witness the expected signatures. But Stan insisted, repeatedly, that we needed a representative of our embassy — and would not sign. So this was a Phase Three that called to mind those famous Cold War era movie interrogation scenes, in one of which I remembered a kind of torture: the hosts positioned a giant bell over the hero’s head and ears and then struck it repeatedly…

At any rate, Edna was greatly relieved to see us, but agitated, having worried over our failure to appear anywhere near the designated bakery for the whole two hours. All this was still in the pre-cell phone era.

So we didn’t get to see much of the Victory Day celebraton (or “rally”), nor any of the fireworks…

End of Part Three

Part Four.

We hung out with our friends in Kiev through the 4-day holiday, but as far as we knew, no one turned in our passports. 

Babi Yar.

We got to visit Babi Yar where possibly 150,000 individuals were murdered. The largest group of these were Jews, who at that time made up 20% of Kiev’s population. The decision that all the Jews should be killed was made by the military governor, Major-General Kurt Eberhard, the Police Commander for Army Group South, SS-Obergruppenführer Friedrich Jeckeln, and the Einsatzgruppe C Commander Otto Rasch.

Now, 44 years later — and 31 years ago today — we two Jews needed to go back to Moscow, to the U.S. Embassy, to be issued new passports. For the next ten years immigration officers of numerous nations — in Asia, Europe and Latin America — took an unplanned second look at me when they read “Issued at Moscow, USSR.”

Ice Cream.

Unlike the U.S. where semi-endless choices create anxiety and spur competition to make and eat more and more, in the USSR of that period there would be a single ice cream flavor each day — and it was excellent! In fact all their dairy products seemed pure and wonderful. 

End of Part 4

Part 4 continued; call it Part 4b.

We took the train to Minsk, Belarus, and in the brief stop nearly failed to get off the train. This is where Hannah’s grandparents came from.

From Minsk we took a day trip to Khatyn, an award-winning memorial. On March 22, 1943 the Germans had locked the 156 inhabitants of this typical town in a shed and set the building on fire. Those few who finally broke out were machine-gunned. Each of the town’s households was now represented by a concrete gate and a concrete chimney, and every thirty seconds, at each household, a bell rang.

War crimes like these were not atypical. At least 5,295 Belarusian settlements were burned and destroyed by the Nazis.

This Khatyn is not to be confused with the similarly-spelled Katyn massacre where, in 1940, several thousand Polish officers were massacred, apparently by the Soviet People’s Commissariat of Internal Affairs (“NKVD”).

End of Part 4b

Part 5.

After a night in Minsk, we were back on the train for Lithuania, following roughly the route of the retreating Germans into the Baltics in late 1944, disembarking at Vilnius. We stared up at one of the gates, then walked through the city, once the capital of East European Judaism, “Jerusalem of the East,” with 125 synagogues. To be sure, that was then, now there was a single synagogue.

Not only that, but now men on the street outside that synagogue were struggling to find a tenth Jew for a minyan, so they could hold a service. They quickly scooped me up. Hannah, though she could read Hebrew, could not — on account of a gender problem — be considered; I who knew nothing made the tenth man. 

Next on the street we stumbled on a Jewish refusenik. He was called a ‘double-refusenik’ because he had been twice refused permission to leave the country, presumably to go to Israel. His request led to a state of being unemployed and unemployable, and this did not immediately foster a sense of being re-integrated into society.

This man did say one thing that I’d expected to hear at the earlier stations of our trip, where we’d been told that everyone was happy with everyone else, the East Germans were good people now that they’d got past capitalism, the Ukrainians and Poles were at peace, as were the Belarusians and Lithuanians and Jews, people who’d fought and bled across these fields over hundreds of years. The refusenik said, “They’d kill each other if they could…”

 End of Part 5

 Part 6.

We’d hoped to visit Western Ukraine where my father and my maternal grandmother were born. Back in the States the Soviet agency Intourist told us we couldn’t go there. There were no adequate tourist facilities was their line. Just as on a 1966 trip the AAA had insisted, falsely, that we could not go to East Berlin. As it happened there was no problem visiting East Berlin and now none flying into L’vov — now known as Lviv.¹ 

We arrived on a Friday afternoon, five o’clock. The tourist office people were happy to accommodate us but they took the weekend seriously. However, efficiently enough, they arranged with us for a tour to my grandmother’s birth-town Radzuwill, then called Chernovoarmeisk (as we’d accidentally learned from Sergei in Kiev) in honor of the Red Army. We also wanted to arrange a guide and a car for a trip to my father’s birthplace, which was in almost the same district, but that was too much to ask of workers already more than half launched into the weekend-prepping happy hour… 

Next morning we met our Intourist guide Igor. The city’s many beautiful Austrian buildings, which we loved, he pooh-poohed — as in fact he did to anything other than the few Renaissance buildings that had withstood the ravages and struggles of recent centuries. For the ugly high-rise apartments he had contempt: “Around the world,” he said, “everywhere the same.”

My grandmother had said Radzuwill (the old name was restored since our trip, perhaps in 1989 or 1991) was a quarter-hour by rail from Brody, the first real stop out of Lviv. We reached it by car in an hour.

We walked around and saw what was once the market. There was also a crumbling church. What was most startling was that there were no particularly old people. The oldest woman we could find was only 65, and she said that after the War “Only stovepipes were left…”

Back in Lviv Saturday night we stopped in at an ice cream shop and bought their version of sundaes: not hot fudge but local fruit preserves as a topping, always good. The shop’s window listed 10 (“22:00”) as closing time but at 9.40 the employees were already barricading the door. 

A provision store was still open.  I went in and bought 100 g of hard cheese, labeled “CIR.” I also bought the same amount of what looked like a softer cheese labeled “ZHIR,” which I assumed was Ukrainian for the Russian “CIR.” Back in our hotel, we hungrily tried these without bread but the “Zhir” was painfully unsatisfactory. Our dictionary revealed “Zhir” was actually a Russian word for suet: beef fat.

End of Part 6

Part 7.

Back home I sought with the utmost care to develop the nine remaining rolls of film that I’d managed to bring back from our trip. I asked the artistic director of the company I worked for to name the best, most reliable shop for this purpose. Accordingly, with maximum alertness I made my way to Regester Photo’s North Baltimore shop and with proud confidence delivered them my treasure — specially telling them to exercise the most fastidious attention to my irreplaceable rolls. 

When I returned three days later to collect the prints I learned that — perhaps on orders from the KGB — they had destroyed the two most important rolls. They apologized and gave me two rolls of spotlessly unexposed film.

Nevertheless, a print that sneaked through Regester’s process and evaded the long arm of the Committee for State Security provided a kind of reward: It showed Hannah with the silk Chinese purse I’d given her within which she carried our passports. It was on her wrist in front of a park where we’d been only a minute before we discovered it was missing… If it was stolen, it was not stolen just yet but in the moments that followed. If it had slid off Hannah’s wrist into the grass, it had not yet done so. Instead of searching a square mile we’d been wiser to open our eyes and really see where we stood. But such a skill can take a lifetime to hone.

We would never know whether — according to melodramatic Cold War expectations — our passports were stolen and used to transport weapons across frontiers. Or whether the cheap Chinese purse that held these documents lay on the grass at our feet and, unnoticed by malefactors, was swept into a drain by one of the ubiquitous janitors, distractedly humming either the Internationale or an old Sinatra chestnut, “Fly Me to the Moon.”

Notes

1. In 1939 there were 97 synagogues and one-third of the population were Jews — almost all murdered. The city had slid from empire to empire over the centuries, usually through no action of its own.

Tirade Against Useless Information

My mother loved to say I was a ‘Recessory for Useless Information.’ Presumably she believed information intrinsically had — or needed to have — utility, and that a lot of mine didn’t. But isn’t it true that no information is in fact entirely useless? Doesn’t so-called basic research in science yield the most important results and breakthroughs? I think even my mother conceded this, under duress.

And how about that movie, the Academy Award-winning Slumdog Millionaire? Didn’t a few bits of information come in awfully handy? [more…]

Childhood Fights: A Secret History

Back in the dark bunk after Vertigo, Alan, wavy blonde hair slicked back like the ‘hood’ he was trying to be (it was 1958), opened his big switchblade and stuck it in my arm saying, “You keep away from Iris, understand?” I nodded (I suppose), sleepily, as people will with certain kinds of threats, and partly grasped that what he was saying was no doubt important to know for my health. But what I remembered best was that the knife didn’t go in. It must have been too dull.

To be sure I felt I was not in an ideal bargaining position. But that position was moot a few days later when [more…]

When I’m No Longer in the Living World

(An Anti-Tirade)

What will it be like? A slightly colder place, albeit only infinitesimally. There will be others who come along; but no one with exactly my sort of humor to entertain them and offer them insight. No one with a certain love and generosity that helped sustain some. No one with the exact same grasping selfishness that few seemed to recognize but that in any case helped to drive me. There would be a small loss of liveliness, as though the laughter and excitement in the cafés that delighted me were dimmed a tiny notch and the chairs were empty a few minutes earlier. A few people would be sad.

Maybe too the world will be slightly calmer, less frantic, its schedules less packed with stuff, with things I wanted to do or learn, papers I intended to read over but mostly never got to.

But to speak truly, I think the world will be very largely the same. Wouldn’t it be arrogant and “grandiose,” as Barbara¹ might say, to expect otherwise? [more…]

Against Relying on Luck to Avoid Injury & Death

I realize that I rely on luck in ways that are not altogether rational.  Up to now I’ve been able to say — to myself, for one, a listener with whom it is often hard to argue — “Nothing serious ever happens to my health.” Sure, so far. Does that truly mean I can take my own health for granted?

So am I in fact protected from things like heart attacks, strokes, cancers of all kinds, diabetes — simply because I haven’t been afflicted with these before? Am I also protected against things like falls and the need for replacement hips and knees? Okay, what about death itself, a rather important outcome — can my previous record, my “past performance,” protect me from that which cancels the ability to fight diseases, drink wine, eat in restaurants and breathe — not to mention the ability to move from place to place (“travel”) while being aware of what’s interesting about where you are? [more…]

Against “Give Me the Boy for a Year”

In May or June 1956, when I was 12, my parents planned a summer trip into Mexico with several of their best friends. I would be sent to Blue Mountain Camp in the Catskills, near Pine Hill, New York. But to enhance their trip, they hired a large stately black man with graying hair, a Dr. Marc Desgraves, a Haitian, to teach them some Spanish.

Now as it happened I had started my own study of Spanish nine months earlier, in Señor Zago’s twice-a-week class at just-opened Van Wyck Junior High in Queens. I had been picking it up quickly, in part because I loved the language itself, and I enjoyed teaching myself the Latin American pronunciation instead of the proper — but in my mind less useful — Castilian that was then taught students. Spain had another decade or two to go under Franco, and who would want to visit there in the meantime? [more…]

Tirade Against What My Friend Raja Said

When he was 25, my friend Raja, then known as Alvin, said seemingly brilliant things. For example:
“No one can be beautiful all the time.”
“But almost everyone is pretty much nice-looking.”
These dicta have stood up well over the years.
To them can be added Denis O’Donovan’s insight that no one is sexy all the time.
It should be mentioned that someone must have said, “Being sexy is a matter of thinking you’re sexy.” Whoever said it, that’s held up pretty well too.
Denis the great 70s Gestalt therapist said, I think, there are days when everyone is attracted to you, everyone, even dogs and cats follow you. But there are other days no one can be bothered with you no matter what you do, people turn up their noses, those same dogs and cats find they have better ways to spend their time.
Wow, there are so many stories of people trying to be sexy, to be “hot,” but nothing works. You can’t trick people. It’s like interviewing for a job. [more…]